Your Lies through my Eyes
by SilverShadowstorm
Summary: Lancelot is surprised when Merlin lies to himself about what he feels for Arthur. Then again, Merlin isn't that good of a liar anyway.


It somehow surprised Lancelot - Merlin was far too good a liar when it mattered. After all these years, everything that had happened, and Merlin's secret was still just that: a secret. In all honesty, Lancelot knew he shouldn't be surprised. Should know better than to expect anything else, really. It was, after all, how it had always been.

Ever since he arrived at Camelot and Merlin had handed him a perfectly forged Nobility certificate, he should've known the boy - for he wasn't much more than a boy back then - had an exceptional talent to bend the truth. He had been too excited, to anxious to get the chance of a lifetime for someone like him that he didn't consider what any of it made of Merlin.

When he found out about Merlin's magic, he should've known better than assume that it was all he hid from the rest of the world. Indeed, secrecy and Merlin seemed to go hand in hand. Lancelot wasn't surprised at the awkward ease in which Merlin twisted the reality of his talents before anyone else. It was just when the need wasn't so dire that he tripped and stuttered over his words. And really, how did Merlin manage to hide a secret so big it could get him killed? He supposed Merlin's constant need to lie was ingrained in his mind, a lifestyle he himself could never adapt to - hence leaving Camelot that first time.

At the end of the day, Lancelot knew Merlin was amongst the greatest man he'd ever met. Not one that was entirely honest, but that could be forgiven because of the circumstances. And anyway, he knew Merlin planned to reveal himself at the right moment. Merlin would get to be honest - _free_ to be honest - soon enough. It was only a matter of time (and Arthur being in one of his better moods, hopefully).

Still, he should've been ready for what apparently came to be a surprise to him. He guessed it was because Merlin did it so well, it shouldn't be anything other than impeccable, the ability to lie to himself.

Because yes, Merlin not only lied to those around him, Merlin lied to himself.

It wasn't easy to see, but Lancelot (and perhaps even Gwaine, but he still had to make sure) noticed the small tells he has come to know as the ones Merlin has when he lies. He isn't quite sure what those tells are, per se, yet he knows it's something Merlin only does when he lies.

Gwaine was not the first to notice, though he was the first to point out, how close Arthur was to Merlin, the - dare he say it - intimacy, they shared. It seemed to all of them, even to the knights that had once pledged allegiance to, all thought the same. Most of them encouraged it, like Leon, who had never seen Arthur as he was when he was with Merlin. Yet whenever the topic came up, an occurrence not as rare as Lancelot would've thought, Merlin either dodged the question, changed the subject or answered in a simple way like: _He's a prat, and a good friend and a great King. Isn't that why we're all here?_

As a matter of fact, the closest group to Arthur knew that their place at the Round Table was only secured because of Merlin in the first place, but yes, it was also because Arthur was a great King that commanded the respect and loyalty of his people.

However, the knights knew better; the bond those two shared was that deeper of master and servant, much deeper than even friends. It was simply _Merlin and Arthur_ , they shared a destiny, or so it would seem. They shared everything (sadly with the exception of a bed, Gwaine would say as the others smacked his head).

It wasn't until later that Lancelot noticed, Merlin did not lie to himself, not about the feelings he knew he held for Camelot's king. No, Merlin was not only a master liar, Merlin was a master at self denial. All the pained glances and forlorn looks were not the ones of someone who lied to themselves, they were of one who couldn't, and who knew that they would never get what they so desired. It was painful to watch, knowing that with a bit of honestly, these feelings would get sorted out and his best mates would just go ahead and conquer the world together, with the only difference that now they loved each other openly as it should always be.

And suddenly, Lancelot was not surprised at all. For all of Merlin's lies, the younger man would never allow himself the undeniable pleasure that would come once he and Arthur were together when there were still too many lies to keep them apart. Merlin wouldn't do that to Arthur, couldn't do it to himself.

So Lancelot kept quiet about his findings, not confiding them even to Gwen, nor the other knights, and waited for the day when Merlin's freedom for honesty would arrive. Until then, he would let fate take its course, and be by them to lend them strength.

All lies were meant to be uncovered, and he couldn't wait for this one to be revealed.


End file.
